Apple Goodness and Dwarves Debauchery

I'm not sure why it just popped into my head, but for some reason I'm recalling that old McDonald's commercial with the retarded kid workin' the pie station. At some point in the spot, he announced, "Pies Up!" Hey, it's funny. So sue me.

So, on the agenda this weekend: Team America tonight. I've been psyched for this flick for a couple months now. I'm going to try not to get too tipsy before we head to the theater so's I remember all of it.

As for Saturday, we rented a car and plan to go apple picking. I grew up doin' it and it to me, autumn ain't autumn without that rancid fallen apple scent wafting up from beneath my boots. When I was a kid we used to go to this place (Western New York somewhere) called Murphy's Orchard. They had this immense, ancient black labrador retriever who'd always be panting even on the chilliest fall day. He'd also always have a colony of flies taking up residence in his fur. They had this massive vat where they'd dump all the fallen, bruised apples and then press apple cider. But the coolest part of the day was the way home. We always stopped at this awesome roadside popcorn stand (the only one I've ever seen) called Bye's Popcorn. They sold the most incredible popcorn -- huge, soft puffy kernels. We'd get buttered/salted and my fave -- carmel corn! Oh man, that shit was good. The place we're goin' tomorrow has a winery, too, with hard cider. Love it.

Just in case the apple picking extravaganza instills too much homespun sap into me, I'll be sure to dirty down my system at the Dwarves show Sunday night. Blood, guts 'n' sodomy. Aw yeah.